Life. What a dreaded thing.

So today was my only day off and I spent it cleaning my room, and then cleaning the bathroom that I share with another girl.

First of all, it amazes me how messy a girl can be. I mean really. The bathroom was absolutely disgusting. I spent over an hour cleaning the damn thing. I did the one thing that I absolutely hate doing though. Getting hair out of the bathroom drain. It is just so..ew.

Anyway. After that I came back into my room and was feeling very, useless. I sat here trying to think of something that I could do (Lately it feels like if I’m not being productive something is wrong with me) alas, couldn’t think of anything. So I’m pretty much mindlessly listening to music..playing a game and talking to a couple of people. Finally decided that I was going to “budget” my next few months. By budget I don’t really mean how much money I can spend on myself, etc. I more so mean how much money I’ll be making and where everything will go. I don’t spend money on myself as it is right now, so hence me not making a “category” for that.
Read the rest of this entry

So life. Yeah. I decided to take a hiatus from the internet. No one has seemed to care though. At least no one has said anything about it. I let people know, and no reply, so yeah, taking that to mean no one cares. I decided that everything is too hectic. I’m already pulling away from everyone online, so the hiatus was just needed.

It’s not as if I’m tired of things online, or anything like that. Well maybe I might be? I don’t know. I just know that I wanted to get away from all of it. I haven’t been using twitter or facebook all that much lately. I get on EMB to see if anyone replied to my hiatus thread, and then log off.
Read the rest of this entry

I was going to write this blog about 2 hours ago. But I guess its kinda amazing what can happen in such a small amount of time.

Work has been good. Its gotten me back into the “real” world I guess you could call it. But at the same time, its pulled me away from anything and everything online.

I honestly can’t remember the last time I had a full conversation with someone online that was just that, a conversation. I’ve had small things like “hey” and it getting as far as “how are you?” “Good you?”. Either I’m pulling away, or they are. Though I know its me. I don’t know why I bother to say maybe they are. Guess its wishful thinking that everything isn’t my fault?

I’ve been thinking a lot about my life. Who I am, what I want to do. I find that I’ve lost my compassion for the things that I once loved very very much. I don’t play music anymore. Something that I once loved to do. Would do practically everyday. Yet I just stopped. I feel I’m not excelling in anything lately. I remember the love I had for graphics. The love I had for doing CGI. What I wanted to do when I “grew” up. However, why is it that the only time I do graphics is if I’m in the “mood” to? Why is it that I went to school for Graphics Design if whats in my heart is CGI?
Read the rest of this entry