Because she likes it when I blog apparently, and my site is on her morning list of sites to check. So I’ll make an actual honest to god post. *gasp*
Things with Lee are, things with Lee. I’m done dealing with his shit for a couple of reasons. Main ones; he is apparently talking to some new chick in North Carolina, and from what I gather, pretty much the exact same way he talks to me. He says he’s going down to visit her, and if he’s willing to drive all the way to NC from WV to see this girl, why should I even bother with him when I’m 20 minutes away (30 at tops?). That and the fact that I’m done playing games. If he isn’t 100% interested, then fuck him XD I’m not the type to sit around and wait for a guy to come to me. I’ve been trying, he’s been pushing. So peace. He wants to be friends, I’m cool with that, but I doubt he even knows how to try and be a girl’s friend.
New kid at work is super cute. Got his phone number the other day and seeing if he might want to go out on a date or hang out, whatever. Just have to actually ask him instead of having his phone number. The group calls him Dr. Honey.. (don’t ask..).
Martial arts is going well. I haven’t been able to go to the past couple classes because of school and hanging out with friends. It sucks, but it is what it is. I’m actually applying for another job soon and if I get it I might not be able to do the classes at all until things slow down for me.
I’ve been talking to Anneloes about possibly staying at her place for a while so I can see her and visit Holland again. She said that she’s not sure how long her parents would allow me to stay there but that if I had a time frame she would let me know. I’m hoping that once I get everything squared away with money that I’ll be able to go over there and spend a good three months. I feel like part of my soul is missing without going to Holland.. *random* However I do need to renew my passport, which really blows, simply because of how many stamps I had in my old passport :/
Richard and I are still talking normally, which really pleases me. I still love him and I still miss him, but at this point and time things are just too confusing in my life. He told me the other day that he’s interested in another girl (one of ann’s friends) and it instantly sparked jealousy in me.. but I’m the one that ended it.. so he’s free to do whatever he wants. *sigh*
LL and I started talking again not too long ago. It honestly made me feel pretty awesome to be talking to them again. I’ve missed having them in my life and I’m hoping that this time around things between the two of us will work out. Especially since I really need all the friends I can get (who doesn’t love friends?) and they’re a pretty awesome friend. They’ve always been there for me, and even though we’ve had our falling outs, they’re an awesome person.
When Lee canceled on me Friday, and then I continued to talk to him, I told everyone (Jessie, Sky, Lexi) and no one was really happy about it.. however Sky’s reaction really.. honestly hurt me. All I seemed to have heard was “Well once he hurts you I’ll be here to tell you I told you so.” and then she got up and walked away. I’ve been keeping my distance from her since that night as well. Not only was I unsure how to react, but I consider Sky a sister, and suddenly it felt like I was nothing. I ended up texting her telling her that I didn’t appreciate the hostility in which she responded to me, she apologized. I thought that would make things better, but it didn’t really. I still had this feeling of, would she do that to me in any situation she didn’t agree with? I became extremely guarded around the thought of being around her. Tonight however she asked if the group wanted to get together, while Lexi had work and Ryan had company coming over, I told her that I could come over. She asked about Jessie, so I called her. When I parked I was still nervous about being around her. Feelings were still there and I wasn’t sure how to deal with them.
Once I got inside things seemed to be better, almost normal. I left without either of us hugging each other, and I feel like some of those feelings are still there and the only way to get over them is to actually talk it out. So hopefully we can do that tomorrow..
Also! Tomorrow, I get Birth Control that will last for 5 years. I don’t have to worry about it AT ALL. I’m so excited! Not only will the periods be less heavy, but once I start having sex again (with a significant other, the lee situation will not repeat itself) I can do so without a condom (THANK GOD).
“Rochelle if you were single you would chew guys up and spit them back out.”
“She’s calling you a hoe”