Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

Life. What a dreaded thing.

So today was my only day off and I spent it cleaning my room, and then cleaning the bathroom that I share with another girl.

First of all, it amazes me how messy a girl can be. I mean really. The bathroom was absolutely disgusting. I spent over an hour cleaning the damn thing. I did the one thing that I absolutely hate doing though. Getting hair out of the bathroom drain. It is just so..ew.

Anyway. After that I came back into my room and was feeling very, useless. I sat here trying to think of something that I could do (Lately it feels like if I’m not being productive something is wrong with me) alas, couldn’t think of anything. So I’m pretty much mindlessly listening to music..playing a game and talking to a couple of people. Finally decided that I was going to “budget” my next few months. By budget I don’t really mean how much money I can spend on myself, etc. I more so mean how much money I’ll be making and where everything will go. I don’t spend money on myself as it is right now, so hence me not making a “category” for that.
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I don’t want to go down this road anymore.

Things between Richard and I have gone from better, to well… worse.

I’m not sure what to do anymore, I’m not sure how to react to things anymore… how to feel.. what to think.

About 2 weeks after I got home from Holland(about a month and a half ago.) Richard and I were talking about me coming back for Summer. Yes I know that was REALLY early to be talking about it, but ticket prices are a bitch and I’m not going to buy a ticket if I don’t have a place to stay. Well he asked his dad if I could stay with them. His dad said that I could stay for a month at most. We were really happy about that. Anneloes also told me that I could stay at her place for 2 weeks, so all in all thats 6 weeks. Which I was happy with. Sure I would rather stay 3 months, but I can deal with 6 weeks if its all I can get.

So I got really excited about it. I started watching ticket prices to see how much they would be. About 950$. I was hoping they would drop, so I was waiting to buy. After buying tickets so many times I’ve kinda learned hah. So while I’m waiting, Richard’s dad has a “talk” with him about me coming over. They then add that in order for me to stay there he has to stay at home (meaning take off work) the entire time because they’re uncomfortable with me staying there by myself.

This, I personally don’t get. It’s not like they don’t know me, it’s not like I’m a stranger. Not to mention, I don’t go snooping around people’s houses. Even when I was staying with Lars, I pretty much stayed in his room because I didn’t feel comfortable going around someone’s house without them there. Lars’ parents actually had to ASK me to leave his room and spend time with them. I can’t help it that I’m a person that keeps to myself.

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