Here it is the end of the month. I thought that this month would be different when it came to blogging. That maybe for once I would start blogging more. Looks like I was wrong eh?

Oh well I guess.

Work has been work. Still do not have time for a life. Its actually gotten to the point where I get really touchy when Richard goes out with his friends because it hurts that 1) I don’t have time to do that myself and 2) I have no friends anyway so even if I did have time, I wouldn’t be able to go.

Made a facebook post about that yesterday(I think?) Someone said that I was loved, people just care more about themselves than they do others. Where I see where she is coming from I also know that I’ve lost almost every friendship that I used to have. When people IM me online it feels like they’re just doing it because they have no one else to talk to, and that they don’t really want to talk to me, they’re just doing it to pass the time. In other words the “general” questions. How are you, how has your day been, anything new, or the ones that really only require small answers. All the questions that never keep a conversation going.

And honestly I’m not going to try like hell to talk to someone who obviously doesn’t want to talk to me. Therefore I’ve been contemplating getting a new msn and aim until people think I just went MIA, or just blocking a lot of people. I haven’t decided which I want to do though.

I’m just tired of people IMing me that really don’t give a shit.

Another thing is how easy the tides change I guess. How easy someone can say that they don’t like someone, or don’t agree with something that they do, but then come two weeks and the person is bestest friends with that same person.

I don’t know. Could be myself being bitter because everyone seems to jump into great friendships with people, yet here I am friendless.

I wish it wasn’t to the point of where I cant even laugh at it. Usually when it comes to being uncomfortable about something or whatever I’ll do the “fake” laugh. Like things really aren’t as bad as I’m making them out to be. Or “oh woe is me” type of thing. Its gotten to the point where I cant even do that, because honestly, its past the point of where its just hurting my feelings. Its killing me that I have absolutely no one but my boyfriend and my mother.

I went and bought Richard two Lacoste polos today. It was nice to be able to spend that money and not worry about everything else that I have to pay for (since I already have the money for everything). Saving for Holland is going really well. I just need to get all the money in order to be able to buy my ticket. Hopefully the Euro continues to stay where it is against the Dollar. It only really makes a 50$ difference right now for the Hostel, but hey, thats 50$ that can go to my spending money.

Richard and I are good. We’re almost at 7 months. I can’t believe that its been that long already. But I guess it makes sense.

Actually what I really cant believe is that its almost been a year since Lars and I broke up. I mean it seems like its been a lot longer in my head, but actually thinking about it, it doesn’t seem like it should be a year. All in all time goes by extremely fast. I just hope my two months in holland don’t go by too fast.

And I believe that is all for now. I think my next blog I’m going to more so blog about opinions and such. I don’t know, make it more than just an update on my life.

Though I doubt anyone reads this anyway, or cares, its worth a shot.