I seem to only update to bitch about my life. I guess it’s the only place I can let everything out. But even then, I still feel as if I have to hold certain things back, because if I said all the things I was thinking, a few people that read this would either be pissed at me, or would stop talking to me.. *sigh*

I won tickets to the latest WVU game. Seems no one wants to go with me though. I called my mom, nope she has to finish her office. I called Lexi, she didn’t give me a no, but it seemed like I was going to get one anyway, because apparently Ryan is planning something this weekend with the rest of the group. Still, I asked Jessie, that was a no. I asked Ridge, that was a no. So awesome. I have free fucking tickets, (not to mention VIP Froggy Radio passes to their tailgating party (Free booze..)) but no one wants to go. So you know what? I’ll go to the game myself. Have an awesome time, and come home just to realize how miserable my life is because no one wants to go to a free game (Yet! They bought tickets to the last game which was cold, and wet.. but this one will be warm and dry…)…wtfe.

I told myself I wasn’t going to post this on my blog, but I really don’t care anymore. If everyone knows, then everyone knows. I’m moving out of the country. I officially have 85 days left in the USA. I’ve been sad about it at some points (when I think about the people I’m leaving) but then at the same time I’m not sad about it (instances like this football game..). But most of all I’m excited about it. I’m happy to finally be moving out, to actually being happy instead of confined to a country that makes me feel like an idiot. I’ll be challenged in life instead of just wondering around it trying to find my purpose. I’m taking classes to teach english as a second language, and once I get there, I hope to tutor others in english. I’m really really really excited about it.

My lease is up in this apt on the 31st. I’ll be moving in with Lexi and Ryan for November and December.. I’m scared about that. Mostly because I’m afraid that with the feelings I have now, that maybe it wont work.. maybe they’ll just decide they’re tired of me, and kick me out (had it happen before with someone I considered my second mother..) so.. i don’t know.

*sigh*

Last night was the launch party for the calendar that I worked on. I’m so excited to see my graphics in print! MY stuff was on this calendar.. MY stuff. AH! So happy. But the place that it was at was Bent, which is known for not letting ANYONE under 21 in. However they kinda fucked up last night hah! There was an under 21 list, in which they marked your hands.. and I was on it.. but I was also on the VIP list (Dude, just noticed.. VIP list here.. VIP tickets.. I’m a VIP :P) and he didn’t even check the under 21 list.. he looked at me and said “You are CLEARLY over 21″ Oh really? and gave me a wristband, and I got to drink. I only had two drinks, but still, it was awesome that I could.

But yeah, I believe that is all. Oh yeah Kay and Sky went to the launch party with me (thanks guys!) and Kay actually bought one of the calendars. I told him he would now have a little piece of me in his apt. to which he responded he could have a lot of me in his apt if he wanted to. XD

Anyway, I believe that is all for now. Maybe next time I’ll tell you how Sky took three of my virginities.

Normally I would of course find a picture of Richard and post it here, however since everyone in the world (that knows me) knows that Richard makes me happy, I figured that I would post a picture of something else that makes me happy. Actually! I’m going to post two :D

Smokey! This is one of my kittens. I have 3 (I call all cats kittens, no matter what their age is.) but smokey is my baby. She’s soft, and adorable, and whenever I’m home (she lives in VA with my parents) she can always make me feel better. When I cry, she comes over and just lays with me, because she’s cool/amazing like that.

And Holland of course. Just being in the country, make me happy <3

I know that its been months since I last blogged. I’m sorry for that, I just couldn’t find the inspiration to do so. Not to mention I always felt like there wasn’t enough going on in my life to actually blog about. I think I’m going to start a 30 day project, maybe it will kick me back into shape. I’m hoping that it does.

But anyway, before we catch up on all the things I’ve done (that i can recall) in the time I haven’t been blogging, we’re going to start with the reason I even have the motivation to write this blog.

I’ve been getting sick, like crazy lately. Some days I eat way more than I think I can even eat, other days as soon as I eat something I either puke it back up or my stomach makes me feel like its trying to kill itself. Then my period didn’t come (and still hasn’t..) so I thought that I was pregnant. I completely freaked out. I’m 19 years old and my boyfriend lives thousands of miles away. Being pregnant would be a terrible thing for me. Yes I would like to have children, but I’m not ready for it yet. So I went and got a pregnancy test, took it, and it said that I wasn’t pregnant. Thank god. However now I’m really starting to wonder what really is wrong with me. Why my stomach is behaving the way that it is, and why my period is over 2 weeks late. I’m thinking about calling the doctors office today and making an appointment for Monday (wont have a day off work till then). Hopefully its nothing bad and its just my body being weird.

So yeah, that was my reason for blogging. Pretty short, but still, it motivated me, which is all that matters, correct?

Now all the things that I’ve been doing since I last blogged.

The rest of NYC. Laura and I made it home safe. The next day my mother, step father and I drove to Morgantown (I had about 4 hours between getting home from NYC and leaving for Morgantown to finish packing for holland..) to Kayla’s wedding. It was a small church, but it was a nice service. I loved Kay’s dress, and what she had her bride maids wearing was cute as well. We went to her reception, and I loved the way she (more likely her mother) decorated everything. It was still weird to think that she was getting married though, and I still find it hard to believe that she is married. I still believe she was too young, and is following in the same footsteps as her mother, but I hope that she proves me wrong. So after the reception we drove back to warrenton. I had another couple of hours to make sure that EVERYTHING was packed for Holland. There were a few things that I couldn’t fit in, which really sucked. But all in all I took everything that I absolutely needed. We left for the airport early (well early for what time my flight was taking off..) I completely forgot to eat as well because I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Got through security and everything and I was sitting at my gate and realized that I was very very hungry (because I forgot to eat. bravo rochelle!). I only had 3 dollars that wasn’t part of my holland money so I told myself to suck it up and that I would eat when i got on the plane. The flight over was nice. I’m glad that it was a direct flight. It was a bittersweet feeling to not have Richard pick me up from the airport. But i was glad to see Anneloes. We did the typical run to each other and hug thing. I looked like complete crap (and because of that, was glad richard didn’t pick me up!). Ann and I had a bunch of fun getting to the train.. then getting my SHIT on the train. The ride to her house wasn’t that bad, the biggest problem was getting from the train to the tram and then from the tram to her house. Since I had 3 suitcases and two of them were HUGE. Got all my stuff to her house, took it up two flights of stairs. I took a shower and changed into this really cute dress (if I do say so myself :P). However we had a couple of hours to kill until anyone came to the house.

When everyone starting showing up I stayed up in her room while everyone else was downstairs in the living room. Everyone got there and we strategically placed richard in the chair facing away from the door, that way I could surprise him.

When Ann and I walked into the room he turned around and got a glimpse of me, but thank GOD he didn’t actually see my face because I quickly moved behind her. I walked up behind him and put my hands over his face and whispered something in his ear (I think it was abrakadabra.. but I’m not 100% sure because I remember there were a bunch of things that I was debating on saying to him). He just kinda sat there like he didn’t know what to say or how to react. It was so cute. I like to mess with him though and say that he didn’t care that I was there, and that it was just “meh” to him.

The rest of that day was awesome, we went to take me to the hostel and Richard told me that his mother offered for me to stay with her. So when I got to the hostel and realized that I wasn’t going to be getting my own room (when they told me that I would..) and that I was in a room with two other guys who were absolute perverts, I decided that I would stay with Richards mom. Yay for saving 600$! However things with staying there didn’t go completely smoothly. I’m a very quiet person, and usually keep to myself, because I’m used to being alone. Well I guess she took offense to that and thought that I hated her, so pretty much I had to spend time downstairs or I made her feel bad. I don’t have a problem spending time with her, she just wanted me downstairs like every day and I don’t know, it just made me uncomfortable.

Spent a week, actually only like 3 days with Anneloes. Seems that this trip did nothing to help our friendship, and honestly I’m wondering if things can be fixed between the two of us.

Richard and I went to Paris (yay! :D) and we were supposed to go to Germany, but apparently you have to have some sort of sticker saying where you can drive and it would have taken too long for Richard to get that, so instead we went to the Germany, Netherlands, Belgium border. I was in 3 countries at one time :) it was pretty awesome. I had a lot of fun on my vacation. Sure, there was a lot of drama with his mom, and friends and such, but I still had an amazing time with him, which is all that matters!

That was all with my trip with holland. The flight back, was the worst flight I’ve ever been on in my entire life. Not only was the pilot TERRIBLE but I was seated next to Captain Jackass. While I was on the phone with Richard (before the flight took off) he started this shit with “REALLY?” and I was like “What?” and he was like “I don’t want to hear your phone converstaion.” Really? I mean really? Its not like I was being loud because I wasn’t this guy was just being a jackass.

Things once I got home have been pretty calm I guess. Some things have gone wrong, but nothing to really fret over. Richard and I have been together for 11 months though (was on the 4th) yay :) I’m still so amazingly happy to be with him, and after the two of us talked through a bunch of things, I feel so much closer to him.

But alas! that is all. hopefully you will see me blog tomorrow!